January 24, 2005


No photos. Instead of wandering around downtown, I decided to visit my Mom.

I really should have gone to see her a while ago. I don't even know why I didn't. I think I was just being stupid (shocking, I know).

The official diagnosis is Alcoholic Hepatitis with the strong possibility of Cirrhosis (pending the result of a biopsy). For right now the doctor has her on several medications to help stop the damage and flush out the toxins that have built up in her system. He's also put her on an anti-depressant, Lexipro.

The damage to her nervous system (due to build up of toxins) however, is irreversible. As a result, her hands have a mild shake and her legs are constantly numb. She doesn't move around as much as she used to, because her legs tend to ache and she gets tired very quickly. Sleeping has been a bit more difficult, a combination of pain and medication side effects, but she's taking an OTC sleep aid that seems to help.

She seems to be in decent spirits, given the situation, but I think that may be due to the Lexipro. That, and the fact that she tends to downplay things to keep me from worrying.

But I'm more than worried.

I'm fucking terrified of what comes next.

January 22, 2005

Remember Me?

I'm not taking a hiatus, at least not intentionally. I just haven't been in a writing mood for a while.

I'll be out taking photos tomorrow, so hopefully I will have something interesting to show you. :)

January 08, 2005

More Angst

After a brief hospital stay, my mother is now back home.

Mom hasn't been feeling well for a little while, but she was under the impression it was only a minor ailment that would clear up on it's own. But after a week or so, she was in so much pain that she finally decided to take a trip to the ER. They ran some tests as well as a CT scan, and it turns out that, to quote her doctor, "Her liver is shot." Sadly that is not too surprising, seeing as one can't be an alcoholic for a decade and expect to escape unscathed.

They removed some fluid that had accumulated in her abdomen (2.5 liters worth) and made her stay for 2 nights. Her doctor also prescribed some medication to help treat, and hopefully halt, the deterioration of her liver. And while it's not unheard of for a person's liver to heal itself, it can never return to 100% health.

As of right now, I'm not sure what this all means. I suppose it will be a bit of a waiting game to see what effect the medication will have. I hate waiting, because all waiting does is give me time to worry.

If there is an upside, it's that this will hopefully be the kick in the ass that my Mom needs to quit drinking, because lord knows she doesn't listen to me. Or any other member of the family, for that matter. Could that even be considered an 'upside'?


January 07, 2005

Life = Shite

My Mom is in the hospital. It's nothing immediately life-threatening, but it's not good news either.

I'm going to bed because, well, I can't deal with this right now.

January 06, 2005


Dear Asshat -

The next time you want to drift into my lane during rush-hour, I'm not going to do anything. I'm not going to honk, I'm not going yell at you and I am certainly not going to brake. Instead, I am going to let you sideswipe me. And you know what? That's going to leave a big metallic blue streak all down the side of your shiny new Lexus. Then, when you get pissed off, I am going to get out of my car and laugh at your bitch ass for being such a fucking moron. You have mirrors and a goddamn turn signal, learn how to use them jackass!


January 05, 2005

Promises, Promises

I never make New Year's resolutions, mostly because I can never keep New Year's resolutions. But this year, I've made one. Just one, and that is enough.

My resolution? To take more photographs. Why? First, I need to learn how to use all the spiffy features on my new camera. Second, I need to expand my technical knowledge of photography in general. And third, I plan on applying to art school, and my portfolio is sorely lacking.

So, I'm going to get serious about it. At least one full day a week will be spent taking photos, rain or shine. (Which, in this city, usually means rain) I will also try and visit a new location each time, because I've got enough photos of downtown to last a lifetime.

There it is. I've stated it publicly (exponentially increasing the guilt factor should I not keep my resolution) and there's no going back.

I'm thinking Friday would be a good shooting day, but I just don't know where. Suggestions?

January 01, 2005