January 24, 2005


No photos. Instead of wandering around downtown, I decided to visit my Mom.

I really should have gone to see her a while ago. I don't even know why I didn't. I think I was just being stupid (shocking, I know).

The official diagnosis is Alcoholic Hepatitis with the strong possibility of Cirrhosis (pending the result of a biopsy). For right now the doctor has her on several medications to help stop the damage and flush out the toxins that have built up in her system. He's also put her on an anti-depressant, Lexipro.

The damage to her nervous system (due to build up of toxins) however, is irreversible. As a result, her hands have a mild shake and her legs are constantly numb. She doesn't move around as much as she used to, because her legs tend to ache and she gets tired very quickly. Sleeping has been a bit more difficult, a combination of pain and medication side effects, but she's taking an OTC sleep aid that seems to help.

She seems to be in decent spirits, given the situation, but I think that may be due to the Lexipro. That, and the fact that she tends to downplay things to keep me from worrying.

But I'm more than worried.

I'm fucking terrified of what comes next.